I’ve been answering the same questions for months. My answers have held up well, largely because they haven’t been disturbed.
I used to think email was a way to communicate. Now I think it’s how you establish that the misunderstanding took effort.
Say someone asks about Thursday. You answer it, explain the answer, then remove anything that sounds impatient.
The reply: “But what about Thursday?”
Thursday is in the second paragraph. You put it there yourself.
You blame the presentation. Shorter emails. More space. Bold type. Bullet points. One more reply and you’re hiring a flight attendant to point at the important parts.
Nothing.
Yet people can detect an insult anywhere. They’ll miss the date, the cost and the answer, but find a tone in “previously.”
I’m retiring “previously.” It knows too much.
Some people arrive with an opinion and read until they can keep it. The subject line is usually sufficient. You write five careful paragraphs and receive a rebuttal to the person they’ve decided you are.
Now you have two jobs: doing the work and explaining that you’re doing the work to someone whose concern is that you aren’t doing the work.
I’d be further along without the concern.
Of course, it works both ways. Skim a message, ask a question, then notice the answer while your reply is still sending. There’s a brief period when you believe you can stop an email by feeling bad enough.
That’s what keeps me writing politely. I know there’s a person at the other end, probably tired, probably interrupted, probably convinced they’re the only one paying attention.
I just miss being understood. Even an accurate disagreement would feel intimate.
Every time I press Send, I still picture someone reading to the end and writing, “Got it.”
Anyway, Thursday works.
I’ve put it in the subject line.